You can be “Whole” alone.
“Loneliness is just an opportunity to cut adrift and find yourself. In solitude you are least alone.” [Bruce Lee]
When did you last comfortably spend time alone?
Being Alone is something us dislike that with a passion, as it can come with uncomfortable feelings. It’s easy to associate being alone with being lonely.This perspective could not take us further from the truth. What if being Alone was a resourceful activity instead?
- 🎷 Background noise – music, TV, podcasts.
- 🧹 Activities – Cleaning the house, doing life admin.
- 👯♂️ People – In person or virtually.
On the opposite, when Alone, we are given the chance to get in touch with yet another side of our Authentic Self. It is in the silence that answers to our most confronting questions can be found.
Who am I? Do I really like this? Am I really happy?
Am I hearing your “yep, that’s me“? The step-by-step process below if for you!
Identify what you do to fill up your time and space instead of being alone.
In your last week, month, year: What tasks did you occupied yourself with?
What is it that you do not particularly enjoy but do anyway, as long as it keeps you away from having to face some (internal) questions?
Imagine Being Alone as a big red flag 🚩.
Red flag signal you where more attention is needed: what exactly do you need to nourish?
Ironically, you may have to sit in silence and let the answer come out, slowly.
You may hear it, see it, feel a particular way or get a sudden idea (also after a few days munching over it).
Step 3
Now ask yourself: “What is the emotion I am trying to avoid”.
Pin-point down the emotion you do NOT want to feel (that’s why you’re filling up your time with something else, right?!).
You can either:
– look up the emotion wheel
– or fill in the gap: “I find a distraction not to feel _____ ”
Use your findings as your springboard.
Now you know which aspects of your life need more TLC (tender loving care). Again, take time to identify which resources you have to make your garden flourish.
As for those resources you don’t have, you can take it one step further: do a research on where you can source that from. More time alone?!
